You Are Good Enough

NSJ Soul Lutions
Jul 5, 2020
11 min read

Updated: Jul 20, 2020

In some cases we have been led to believe that we are not good enough, this can be from the choice of career to the choice of partner.

Whatever area this applies to in your life, I am here to advise you that not only are you good enough. You are MORE than good enough.

It is only you that is holding you back from believing that you are good enough to experience a life in which everything runs smoothly.

Feelings of not being good enough can stem from a variety of different aspects of your life, some of this will come from childhood and other parts will be the situations which you have accumulated along the journey called life.

Whatever it is that has made you feel as though you are not enough, is now something that you have to retrain your mind to believe the complete opposite.

You are no longer your past, you are your future.

“Most People spend their lives regretting the past and fearing the future;

Therefore they are unable to experience joy in the present moment”

D.Hawkins (2012)

Feeling of being inadequate can lead to you not making healthy choices within your life.

The choices that are in actual fact for your highest good, and that will bring out the best in you are the choices that we sometimes struggle with the most to make.

This is due to having that deeper feeling of not being sure if we will be able to complete the task at hand.

In these cases, we may settle for less than we deserve as we think that by settling for less, it will put us in a position of power.

When in actual fact it is the situations in which we know we are more than good enough that keeps in the lower feeling of not being good enough.

You know the feelings of fear and being anxious all the time, when in actual fact if we placed ourselves in places which we felt as though we could flourish we would probably live a much happier life.

“When that inner emptiness, due to lack of self-worth, is replaced

By true self- love, self-respect and esteem, we no longer

Have to seek it in the world, for that source of happiness is

Within ourselves”

D. Hawkins (2012)

We tend to place much of how we feel in the hands of another, we almost expect them to take responsibility for how we are feeling, and rely on them to make us feel better about ourselves.

How long does that feeling last for? Not very long, because as humans it is not possible for another to make us feel good about ourselves all of the time.

No, sometimes we have to start feeling good about ourselves for ourselves.

Feeling good about you and your capabilities is more rewarding than expecting it from another all of the time.

Feeling good about yourself means that you are not dependent on another for how you feel, you are able to remove yourself from feeling as though you are a victim to feeling victorious in all that you are able to do, feel and achieve for yourself.

Now don’t get me wrong, that does not mean that someone cannot help you to achieve something, and I am not saying that we do not want to be complimented on what we are good at every now and then.

But what I am saying is that you should not become dependent on what another can bring into your life.

Relationships are interdependent meaning you are good together while also being good enough independently.

If you think back to times in which you may have not felt good enough, you will almost certainly remember it to be a time in which someone had said or did something to you that made you feel inadequate.

You didn’t take the other person's thoughts into account only how it made you feel at the time and this is completely understandable.

But what if the person who was trying to make you feel as though you were not good enough, really had an underlying issue of not feeling good enough themselves?

Sometimes it is more than about how another can make us feel about ourselves, especially if you know the person well enough to understand that the way they are acting has nothing to do with you and more to do with what they may have experienced within life.

We are so quick to try and protect ourselves (ego) that we don’t realise that the other person is human too (soul) with their own set of issues and feelings of unworthiness.

I have experienced this in both personal relationships and working relationships. In which I have come across people who are defensive.

Now my initial reaction when people have become defensive is to remove myself from the situation.

But this year 2020 ( clear vision) I decided to look a little deeper than what I am being shown. Now only to understand others better, but to also understand me.

After working in my previous job role for five years, in which I knew a good majority of the staff and they knew me (well what I wanted them to know) so the relationships that were developed here over time became easy.

I could see when someone was having a bad day, I could see when they felt intimidated by me if they believed I knew more or was liked more. It was very easy for me here, and I always felt good enough.

So when I started a new job role in September last year, I had to go in with a completely different viewpoint.

I did not know these new people, I knew myself though (which was my only saving grace) and it was only through knowing myself, and knowing that I was too qualified for the job role that I found myself within, that I was really able to sit back and observe this newly found team around me.

There were many individuals within this team that were more than good enough to complete the job role at the level which was required of them.

However due to management and things which they had going on outside of work, there was a constant battle of them not seeing themselves as good enough, and feeling as though they were consistently being “pulled” into the office to be told off.

The impact of this meant that there was no real job satisfaction for those who I found myself working with.

They were constantly complaining, looking for things to complain about or looking for new jobs.

But in reality and in hindsight they were being compared to those that had done the job before them, who were on a considerable amount of more money.

So yeah, in reality, they had every reason to believe they were not good enough.

This situation, and my ability to really step back and observe, allowed me the opportunity to look at all of the areas in which people think they may not be good enough.

This just worked as one small element that we face. But obviously, as life is more than just work, let’s visit another area.

Relationships of all kinds can at times be a place in which we feel that we are not good enough.

Maybe one partner is doing better financially than the other, or one is not able to show they care in what another would be expecting.

Whatever it is, it can be limiting if partners feel they are unable to fully express themselves.

Don't let words and misunderstandings get in the way of Feelings, it is not the words that matter; it is the way you Feel deep inside that matters the most -

NSJ Soul Lutions

As I have matured, I have also realised that infidelity has nothing to do with the person who feels they have been cheated on.

I had a partner who kindly informed me that he never believed that he was able to keep up with me, therefore every time he believed that he had “levelled” up to me, I moved onto something bigger and better career-wise.

Now at the time, I did not see it like this, I was just doing what I believed was right for me to do.

I did not realise the impact of me climbing the ladder would have on him.

This led him to look for additional partners who he believed were not on his “level” just so that he was able to feel good enough about himself, he never cheated to hurt me, he cheated so that he was able to feel better about himself. See the difference?

Now I am not under any circumstances saying that cheating on another is acceptable.

I am just trying to help those who may have been cheated on realise that a partners cheating habits has nothing to do with whether you are good enough, and everything to do with them and how they are feeling at the time.

When two people feel good enough about themselves and one another there is no need for cheating to take place.

So basically find a partner in which you are able to grow together and support one another with that growth. Inspire each other as opposed to hindering one another.

In some cases it is about us too, if we see ourselves as good enough then we must learn to treat others as though they are good enough also.

We may well know deep within ourselves that we are good enough, however, that does not mean that everyone we come into contact with will know they are good enough also.

Be gentle with people, help them to see the good within them if they are unable to see it within themselves.

Remind them of their greatness that they have within, you may be able to see something that they are yet to see within themselves.

Now I can hear some of you thinking, “but it is not my job, to help another feel good about them” - I am sorry but yes it is.

What we want for self, we should want for another, and what we want for another we should want for self. This is how the world works.

We spend too much time working on ourselves, but then we forget that part of working on ourselves is now being able to implement what we have learnt about ourselves with another.

Sharing is caring, so share what you know, and allow them to share what they know with you also.

Feeling good enough should be a joint effort for all of those that we come into contact with.

People thrive when they feel as though they have been seen and heard. People like to feel as though they are loved and respected.

So do the right thing and feel good enough about you so they are able to help others feel good enough about themselves.

When going into a situation in which we may not have experienced before or have not experienced for a long time, we are bound to feel the feelings of not being good enough.

Be patient with other people, allow them the time to get to know you and your ways. How you may react to things, the different tones which you use when you are feeling happy or sad.

All of this takes time, and in some cases, we are too quick to find a replacement to help us feel good enough.

Life is about showing others the real you, the good times and the bad times. No one can judge you for being you.

One of the bigger lessons I have learnt is the importance of taking your time to get to know others, this is where you are really able to learn the most about yourself.

I have made a pact with myself that I will not rush into any situation until I feel as though I am ready until I feel good enough within myself to feel as though I am able to embrace the new situation that I am finding myself within.

If we enter situations not feeling good enough then this is all we will continue to face, it does matter how many new situations we enter none will ever make us feel good enough about ourselves until we have learnt to do that by ourselves.

It is a hard pill to swallow, but an even harder pill is to continuously have to swallow the same pill and get no new results.

“You thought you were the victim of your feelings, Now you will

See they are not the truth about yourself; they are merely created by the ego,

That collector of programs which the mind mistakenly believed are necessary for survival”

D. Hawkins (2012)

Career-wise, select a career that you know that you are good at. This helps with the feelings of being good enough for the role that you are taking part in.

And never be afraid to take risks. If there is something that you really want to do in life whether it is working for a top company or working for yourself, just believe you are more than good enough to surpass your initial feelings of being unsure of your worthiness.

Take that risk in business, the fact that you have an idea to start working for yourself.

Means that whatever your idea is will work. Yes, there may be tests and challenges along the way.

But the fact of the matter is that you are good enough to achieve whatever you have in your mind. Whatever you believe you are great at doing that!

Some of the most successful people in the world have been able to achieve their greatness because they always knew and understood that they were more than good enough.

They did not wait for this to be confirmed by another. They consistently confirmed this for themselves.

Try not to attach your feelings of being good enough to the material things that you may purchase.

This is due to the fact that materials are not something that we can take with us, and they supply only a small sense of satisfaction which will pass until you are able to purchase the next best thing.

We may sit there and look at our materials, but if we are still not feeling good enough within, no matter how many things we purchase this will not replace the feelings of lack that we are feeling within our soul.

Life is going to test us, we will always be faced with people, places and situations which will question whether we deem ourselves to be good enough or not.

Our only role within this test is to understand that we do not need anything to help us understand that we are good enough other than ourselves.

Do not place the key to your worth in another person’s pocket, you will only lead yourself to a life of disappointment.

So how do we let go of the feelings of not being good enough, I found an interesting statement by David. R Hawkins which states:

“Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up,

Staying with it, and letting it runs its course without wanting to make it

different or do anything about it.

It simply means to let the feeling be there and focus on letting out the energy

Behind it”

Basically, we should not fight with the feelings of not being good enough, but allow them to come up, and then identify with why we are feeling that way.

Mostly it may come from past energy of what we have been told about ourselves, so the key here is to remember that we are no longer in that past energy. We are in a new place which allows us to develop new feelings about ourselves.

Focus on where you are now, what you want to achieve for yourself and how you are going to do it.

That is where your true power stands within you, doing the best that you can possibly do for you. You are good enough for you, and that is all that matters in the end. The rest will fall into place naturally.

Song of the week - Ashanti Baby

Baby, I can't see my world (can't see)

Living here on God's green earth, (God)

You don't know what ya done to me (done to me),

I never thought I'd need you desperately (desperately),

It's kind of sick how I'm stuck on you (stuck on you),

But I don't care cause I'm needa you (I'm needing you),

And how I feel will remain the same (remains the same),

Cause your're my baby (cause your my baby),

Listen and when the world starts to stress me out (where I run),

It's to you boy without a doubt (you're the one),

Who keeps me sane and I can't complain (can't complain),