Energy - How This Affects Our Relationships

Growing up, I was able to sense the energy of the environment. When I was really young, I could feel the energy of people around me. As I was classed as a shy child, my mother just put it down to being part of my character and I agreed. It was almost as though because my mother had informed me that this is how I had been all my life. I just took what she said until I got older and started to realise that my being able to read energy is in actual fact a gift that I have received from the universe, and now I am in a position to use it. There are good points and challenging points in being able to read energy. Energy goes where attention flows is not really a statement that I like to use, mainly because my relationships with energy means that I can attract all different types of energy into my life, at all different times, and not at all times I will be thinking about the things I attract.

For me, Energy is a feeling, it is that deep sense of knowing when something, someone or some place does not resonate with where I am heading or are meant to be heading. That is my first initial thought when I think of my feelings towards energy. I can literally switch off, and not feel anything at all, when I get to this stage, I know that it is definitely time for me to stop and reevaluate exactly what it is I am doing, and what I may need to do to get my energy back into alignment with what I am meant to be doing. ( when I say switch off, I literally have no feeling towards the situation - this happens usually when I am ready to experience a new career). I take this as more of a guidance, rather something to be scared of, and as I am so used to my energy being affected by some situations, I also look at it as being a positive.

My first real experience of energy happened at around 27. I started socialising with my friends every weekend at around 23, so for around 4 years, I raved HARD every weekend, until one weekend. I walked into the venue, and it just no longer felt right… I looked at the people around me, how they were engaging with each other, and the energy they were giving out to each other. I had some random man trying to chat to me that I knew I was never going to take seriously. So I am going, to be honest, it just felt toxic. I don’t really drink and I have never taken drugs, so what I witnessed around me felt like a group of people who were trying to block out life through the use of substances. Now it is not my jurisdiction to judge people on their choices, it was just the feeling/energy that I felt and it was no longer a place I saw myself being. On the way home that night I expressed my feelings to my friend in regards to how I felt, and surprising enough her response was “Oh, you felt it too?” (your circle of besties will usually resonate with how you are feeling if they do not that is not a problem, it just puts us in a position to decide how much contact you may still want to have with this person).

That was just the beginning of me realising the power of energy. I started reviewing all of the places that I attended and was able to decide how I would feel before I even got there. It got to the stage in which my friends would call and ask “you coming out tonight” and my first response would be “who’s gonna be there?” Their answer would determine if I went and usually it would be a No…… I had decided that my energy was rare and delicate energy and it was not to be shared with just anyone. In a nutshell, I am energy sensitive…… (Plus it put a stop to my friends inviting me to places that they just knew I would be interested in).

The word energy is a word that many use when trying to describe what they want and do not want around them. I for one definitely use the word energy on a regular basis, for the reason just described. However, in reality, I probably only use it as a description so that others understand where I am coming from. What we must remember is that everything is energy, and I mean everything. We are the ones that in actual fact bring the energy that we want to us, be it good or bad energy. We have a tendency to blame the energy of another, using phrases such as “I don’t want them around me, their energy isn’t good?” Hold on a minute - think about that statement! Is it their energy that isn’t good, or your energy that is in actual fact not good? If like me, you believe we are what we attract then you will realise that you can not attract energy around you if you are not in actual fact on the same energy frequency… Hmmm, I bet that has you thinking?!?

So let’s say for example you keep finding yourself in the same cycle, in this case, I am going to use relationships (As everyone connects with relationships!) Now I am talking about all different types of relationships from lovers to friends to work colleagues. They all have a different type of energy that they can bring to you, and they all will affect you in different ways. But what is key here is the relationship (or the energy) that you have with yourself that attracts whatever you find yourself facing in life right now. That can be a hard pill to swallow I know! To actually have to take responsibility for the reason you attract a particular situation is that you haven’t taken that long hard look at yourself! I am all about connection, we either connect or we do not connect and to me that is all to do with energy. Two energies that do not connect fully, will eventually just disconnect; that is just a natural process. No love lost, just lost connection.

Looking at yourself - as a measure of the energy you attract. You can play games with energy, just to see what you are able to attract towards yourself. This can be from attracting people into your life to attracting the career that you have been wanting for a long period of time. I am always aware of when I am about to see someone that I have not seen in a long time, I will attract the energy of things that they own ( cars) or seeing their name everywhere that I go. These for me are always clear signs that I am about to that person. So when you look at it like this, we are able to use a more playful approach to the energy we are able to attract, and we are also able to stop that energy from coming towards us, especially if it is no longer the energy which we require within our lives.

For me, my energy changes at different times of the month. The New Moon and the Full Moon have a massive impact on my energy, the days leading up to either of these Moon cycles will have me either feeling energised or extreme fatigue. However I feel, the energy is usually extremely positive, and I use this time to set my intentions for what I would like to achieve for the month ahead. I remember I used to say this to my wonderful ex-work colleague Jo, in which she would laugh and call me Mystic Meg…. Well, guess who is working with the energy of the Moon every time she gets the chance ( Don’t mock me, until you have tried me!).

The Full Moon was two days ago (05/06/2020) Make your Energy Wish!

Love is an energy, but not in the sense that you may be used to feeling it. True Love energy has no feeling, it is not overwhelming, it is not something that brings you stress. It is a feeling that many may agree is a feeling that you cannot explain. That is because the feeling of Love is probably one of the hardest feelings to explain, it is a feeling that you never question, it is just there and it feels peaceful. Think about someone that you love, you may not tell them that you love them, but you just know that you do. My easiest example of this would be the love that I have for both my younger brother and my daughter, it is non-describable but it is just there. Compared to the feeling/ Energy of anger, you know when you are angry, your body just reacts in a different way. It feels anxious, agitated or even nervous. And usually, everyone around you seems to be angry. Or maybe you are attracting energy that feels angry towards you.

Our thoughts are energy, we have been made to believe that thoughts are something that is in our mind. And we at times allow our minds to run away with us, and not necessarily in a good way. Pay attention to the thoughts that come into your mind within the first five minutes of waking up. Are they positive or negative? When you have positive thoughts then there is a high chance that the energy that you will experience for that day will follow in the alignment of many positive experiences, as positive energy is the energy you are in. Now, this does not mean that you will not experience things that may be deemed to be negative, however, it will be your perception of the experience that will determine whether your negative experience moves into negative energy. Negative energy is draining, you will begin to notice negative energy, as it has a toll on the body over long periods of time. Therefore the energy that we place ourselves within is important to not only our mental health but also our physical health. How can you make a conscious effort to not make negative energy take hold of your life?

Money is Energy - there are some that are able to attract money as and when it is needed, and others who always “think” they do not have enough money. Once you have settled into how energy affects your life, you will be able to build a relationship with the energy of money. Believing that money is energy takes patience and a firm belief that you can attract any amount of money you truly desire as and when you desire it. I had a very negative viewpoint of money growing up usually hearing the term “we don’t have enough money to do that, or I haven’t got any money” I later came to realise, we always had enough money. I always had clothes on my back. There was always a roof over my head, clean water… and oh did I have food whether at home with my mum or standing in my nanny’s kitchen watching her make something that was going to sweet my taste buds and fill my belly. I now understand that I can attract money as and when I need it, the universe has a funny way of providing what I need to the exact penny ( watch me win that lottery!! - just because I have been told that I won’t definitely means that I WILL - Come on Nan send me those magical numbers, what are you doing up there?!? RIP Nanny!) So the next time you find yourself in debt, just know it is your mindset that is keeping you there. The constant feeling of not having enough will be granted by the universe. So no matter how little money you have, be thankful for it, and thankful for all the money you are yet to attract (We’re all millionaires out here, playing the lack mindset game, change that thought process up right now!) Release that lower energy thought pattern.

Friends energy - these are a little more difficult. We can choose our friends so we have a clear indication of who we want around based on the energy that they may give off. I am lucky in the sense that I have some good energy people around me. We don’t engage in negative energy and have a clear understanding of each other's mindsets and moods and when we may need to step back from each other at time. Sometimes we have the type of energy that makes us problem solvers, that means that we will attract people into our lives that will always want if not need us to solve their problems for them. In some of my relationships with others, this has been the case for me. I have since noticed that while I do not mind helping others to solve problems, the amount of energy that I have to use to help another is draining. Therefore while I will always help those that I love I also have to understand when I have done enough and others must take control of their own destiny. I love my friends they are fully aware of this as I tell them all the time, but they also respect when I cannot help them balance their energies.

Family energy is an energy which you have grown up within, so at times it can make you feel a certain way. As mostly they have an expectation of your energy and how you will respond. We can’t get away from family (well not in my opinion), however, we can learn how to work with the different energies we find within our families. I love them all to infinity and beyond, we have some really big personalities and as all families that can lead to clashing. Being able to understand what type of energy is surrounding any one person in your family, is what helps the relationships with them to remain strong. Family Energy is an energy that you are born with, it will be one of the strongest energies that you will experience. For me, I use energy to measure if my family is in danger, or if they are unwell. I am always able to pick up the energy of my daughter, she was connected to me for nine months of pregnancy, and believe me although she is now 23 years old. There is no change in being able to feel her energy at all times. This means before she even comes to me I feel her on her way, or if she is going to call or message me. (a mother's instinct!).

The energy of the past - this is difficult energy especially if it is not an energy that was a joyful experience. Sometimes we will attract people from our past into our present moment. This is not necessarily a bad thing as we may need to experience something with them or close a door to the energy once and for all. Whatever it is, embrace this energy, look at it for what it is, and if needed release it. There will be some occasions in which a person may not appear from the past, but the feeling of how someone, a place or a situation has made you feel appears. It is key to identify that you are no longer in that place you have evolved, you have become someone different. Now others may not be able to see you in this new light or energy. They will remember the energy that they felt when they were last with you, and therefore it may take some time for them to settle into the new energy that you are now within. Being able to read and understand the energy of another takes time and patience. However, once you are able to read energy, it eliminates all of the distrust that you may have felt towards things that may have happened in the past. Energy evolves, nothing remains the same. Much of the energy of the past links to thoughts, it is not that you are experiencing the same thing. It is the thought that you have which then leads you to remembering the energy you felt at a time in the past both good and bad. The Key is to remember to live in the moment, you are no longer the past. You are now in the present, creating new energy for the future.

Energy and your home - for me, my house is my sanctuary, therefore I am very selective about who can come into my space. I am not one to have just every and anyone in my house for this reason. Especially if it is someone new or someone that I do not see on a regular basis. This is more due to me being able to assess the type of energy they are placing themselves around, and whether I want them to leave behind this type of energy in my home. As mentioned before I am energy sensitive therefore I can pick up the energy that another has been around without them even having to tell me. There are many things that you can do to clear the energy that has come into your space. I am a white sage burner, so usually I can bring balance back into my home in this way. My point is if you are unsure about someone do not be so quick to have them in your space, or have them in your space but on very limited time scale.This works both ways, putting yourself in another's space that you would not normally go into, also runs the risk of you taking energy back to your own place of sanctuary.

Energy is a feeling, we have a choice about how we feel at all times. Yes while it is true that people may be able to influence how we feel, fundamentally we are the ones that actually make the choices as to whether or not we want to remain in that feeling. Being energy sensitive means that I am able to pick up the energy of another whether I am around them or not. I find I am not feeling good, I can actually take the time and really focus on how I am feeling deep within and then disregard the feeling of negativity knowing that it does not belong to me. Now, this is my way so it may not work for you, however, one way that you could measure it is by reflecting on how you feel when you have left a place or person. How they may have been feeling could affect how you are feeling. This allows you to then become more selective to who you have around you.

The reality is that energy is not a joke, it is not something that is just a passing statement or comment, it is real. The problem with us as human beings is that if we can not see something, we believe it not to be tangible. Therefore we will keep placing ourselves in places that are not conducive to our growing. If we truly took the time to review what we have going on around us, then we would become more aware of how our energies are influenced by not only those around us but more importantly how we work with the energy which is being presented to us. The time has come for us to take responsibility for what we are experiencing, the good the bad and the ugly.

Controlling energy is not something which is easy to master, it takes time and patience and during this time you are going to be tested. Especially as you begin to grow in noticing the energy you no longer want to surround yourself with. People are going to try and put you in a place that you no longer want to be, they are going to do things that test what you are saying. Once we understand that others affect our energy we are in a better place to know how to avoid this from happening. However we must also be aware of the impact that our energy may have on another, we are not always walking around with perfect energy, we have our low moments too, so it is equally important that when you are not quite feeling “yourself” that you keep yourself to yourself.

This past week I have had a lot of energies that have been presented to me. Yeah, it has been an intense week, however, I have learnt how to manage the energies that present themselves to me. I have learnt that I have full control of the energies that I allow to influence my life, the road I see myself heading on, and limit access to my energy from those who come to drain me, rather than uplift me. Now don’t get me wrong, I managed to remove all draining energies from me years ago, however, there are some individuals who I have realised do not come to drain me purposely, they come because they know that my energy can handle it. I am only 5ft 3 ½ inches tall, but I am fully aware of how big and intimidating my energy can be at times. I am naturally loud (if I like you) or I can be extremely quiet but either way, my energy always speaks volumes. Embrace the energy that you have within you, share it with others if they need it, there is nothing wrong with a fair energy exchange within reason. Just understand that some will only come to use you for the energy that you have, with no real intention of giving anything back. So protect yourself by not allowing them that privilege, you had to work hard to get your energy to this place of harmony, therefore it should not be made available to just every and anyone.

At the same time remember to protect your energy in the best possible way. You will know when your energy has been shared enough, you will feel tired, drained and in some cases confused. You may even notice that you have aches and pains in your body that you are not able to explain, chances are these aren’t even yours and belong to another who you have surrounded yourself with. Not to worry though as once you have identified with this, you are usually able to rest and recover and feel fine again the next day. My energy always comes back with full force!!!! Nothing is impossible, we can change how we feel in an instant. Just remember we are a ball of energy, and if we want harmony in life then we have the ability to be the ones that create harmony within our energy…...

Song of the week Un-thinkable by Alicia Keys:-

You give me a feeling that I never felt before

And I deserve it, I think I deserve it

It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore

And I can't take it

I was wondering maybe

Could I make you my baby?

If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy

If you ask me I'm ready

If you ask me I'm ready

Enjoy the journey in which we call life, this is only a guideline of the energies that may or may not influence your life. Overall we are here to experience life, and that is one of the most beautiful energies that we will ever experience.

Love Light and Blessings NSJ XXXXXX

References

Dyer.W, DR (2004) The Power Of Intention - Learning To Co-Create Your World Your Way. Hay House: London

Sunim, H (2012) The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down - How to be Calm in a Busy World Penguin Life:UK

Walton, A, C (2009) The Spiritual Secrets Of Happiness Health and Success - A Powerful and Practical Guide for Manifesting the Life You Want. Amazon: Great Britain

Images

Available @https://in.pinterest.com/pin/546413367290976789/ accessed on 07/06/2020 @ 09.16am